{S} Begin Session.

This is an HTML transcript of page #666 of Homestuck: Beyond Canon.

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> Page #719 GIF

Prologue / Chapter 1

You are now Vriska, and like any good Main Character, you find yourself on the precipice of an all too familiar cliff.

VRISKA: Wow, hell was right.

VRISKA: You h8 to see it.

What will you do?

VRISKA (angry): What do you MEAN what will I do????????

VRISKA: Davepeta, is that you?

VRISKA (thinking): ...

VRISKA (smug): Wow once again it falls to me to figure all this shit out in any sort of meaningful way.

VRISKA (idle): ...

VRISKA (angry): And why the fuck is Tavros here!!!!!!!!

TAVROS: i PROBABLY DON'T, uHH, WANT TO QUESTION, yOUR METHODS

TAVROS (nervous): aND MAYBE, iF THERE WERE A BRAVER VERSION, oF ME, hERE, HE MIGHT SAY, tHAT UM, iT'S BECAUSE USUALLY, tHAT MAKES YOU MAD

TAVROS: bUT SINCE THERE ISN'T, a VERSION OF ME LIKE THAT HERE, i GUESS IT'S BECAUSE I, uHH

TAVROS (smiling): lIVE HERE MOSTLY,

VRISKA: Shut the fuck up Tavros!

VRISKA (thinking): This is o8viously some sort of trial.

VRISKA: Cleeeeeeeearly I'm 8eing faced with the ghosts of my past and I have to "sort it out" or some horse shit.

VRISKA: Thanks for the guidance, Nepadave, or whoever the literal hell.

VRISKA (smug): 8ut I got it all figured out already!

VRISKA (thinking): I'm going to speedrun enlightenment and save this horri8le fake universe from imploding in on itself.

VRISKA (smug): You're welcome.

TAVROS: oK WELL, i WILL PRETEND THAT, uHH

TAVROS: iF I WAS SOMEONE, wHO DIDN'T UNDERSTAND, wHAT YOU WERE SAYING,

TAVROS (nervous): bECAUSE, i'M FEELING PRETTY ALIVE FOR THE MOST PART, i THINK

TAVROS: tHAT PERSON, tHAT I'M PRETENDING TO BE, mIGHT ASK

TAVROS (smiling): wHY, yOU THINK THAT IM A GHOST,

VRISKA: You still have legs, for one.

TAVROS: oH THANK YOU,

TAVROS: tHAT IS A NORMAL THING, fOR YOU TO SAY, aBOUT GHOSTS,

TAVROS (smiling): i SEE UM, yOU ALSO, hAVE LEGS

TAVROS (nervous): wHICH MIGHT BE A GHOST THING, tHAT I AM MOSTLY, uNAWARE OF

TAVROS: sO, mAYBE, wE ARE BOTH GHOSTS,

TAVROS (smiling): }:)

VRISKA (thinking): I've already done this, though.

VRISKA (smug): I reconciled with Tavros days ago.

VRISKA: I'm completely in the clear! He forgave me already.

TAVROS (nervous): fOR WHAT,

VRISKA (thinking): It couldn't 8e that easy, could it?

VRISKA: Hey. Tavros.

TAVROS (smiling): hI THAT'S ME, i THINK,

VRISKA: I'm sorry I killed you.

TAVROS: dID YOU DO THAT,

What will you do?

VRISKA (idle):

VRISKA: ... damn.

VRISKA (smug): Well I guess it wouldn't 8e worth anything if it were that simple.

TAVROS (nervous): uM VRISKA DID-

VRISKA (angry): Ugh!!!!!!!!

VRISKA (thinking): What did they mean "sort it out," then? I feel fine a8out killing Tavros, and he's certainly ok with it now. The situation's sorted!

TAVROS (smiling): iS THAT TRUE,

VRISKA: It's completely sorted!

VRISKA: Damn, it could have 8een any num8er of things.

VRISKA (smug): I did a lot of things wrong.

VRISKA: Hey Tavros, I'm sorry I made you an accomplice to a really awesome assassination that I got my ass kicked for, 8ut then I 8ecame a god so 8asically it was the right thing to do.

TAVROS (smiling eyesclosed): ...

What will you do?

VRISKA (thinking): No dice, huh? Okay, try this one on for size!

VRISKA: I'm sorry I kissed you and then used mind control to make you try and love me that one time. That one's on me.

TAVROS (smiling): ...

What will you do?

VRISKA: Fuck, that was a good one... this character growth shit is hard.

{Hours later, but not many.}

VRISKA (sad): ...I'm sorry I said your lusus "smelled like tears".

What will you do?

VRISKA (angry): FUCK!!!!!!!!

VRISKA (thinking): I'm really scraping the 8ottom of the 8arrel here...

VRISKA: and I'm 8eing sincere a8out at least 80% of these!

TAVROS (nervous): aS MUCH FUN, aS I THINK YOU MAYBE THINK WE ARE MUTUALLY HAVING

TAVROS: aND, i DON'T WANT TO RUIN THAT, bY

TAVROS: bEING MY USUAL SELF, lIKE YOU ARE ALWAYS TELLING ME IS BAD,

TAVROS (nervous): a LOT OF THOSE THINGS, sEEM, uM

TAVROS (smiling): uNIMPORTANT AND SORT OF, nORMAL,

TAVROS (nervous): fOR YOU,

VRISKA (thinking):

VRISKA (smug): You're right.

VRISKA (idle): ...

VRISKA (idle): ...

What will you do?

VRISKA: Damn it. Well even if that doesn't solve this puzzle, 8y some happenstantial miracle it's still true.

TAVROS: i THINK IT'S, sOMETIMES ALRIGHT

TAVROS: tO JUST STAND, tOGETHER,

TAVROS: oUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE, fOR A FEW HOURS, aND,

TAVROS (nervous): i AM NOT AT ALL

TAVROS: fRIGHTENED, tHAT YOU WILL DO SOMETHING,

TAVROS (smiling): hORRIBLE TO ME,

VRISKA: Incredi8le! Listen to you!

VRISKA: You have me here practically groveling at your feet.

VRISKA: And even after all I put you through, you're still not trying to get your just desserts.

VRISKA (sad): All this apologizing and rolling over and exposing my weaknesses isn't solving shit!

VRISKA (smug): It's like I'm always saying, words are meaningless.

VRISKA: What we need is action.

TAVROS (nervous): i THINK MAYBE, tHAT,

TAVROS: dOING uHH, "ACTIONS,"

TAVROS: mIGHT BE ONE OF THE THINGS, tHAT YOU FEEL, lIKE YOU DID WRONG

TAVROS: aND, mAYBE SOME WORDS, aCTUALLY,

TAVROS (smiling): cAN BE PRETTY USEFUL, sOMETIMES,

VRISKA: That sounds wrong, so I'm going to completely ignore it.

TAVROS: oH, oK,

VRISKA: 8ut sure. Let's try it your way.

TAVROS (smiling eyesclosed): oH, oK,

VRISKA: Instead of me taking action, what I need is for you to take action.

VRISKA (smug): It was so o8vious that it's stupid, actually.

TAVROS: tHAT'S NOT, wHAT I SAID, aT ALL,

VRISKA: The reason I'm stuck here is 8ecause I don't owe you plac8ing apologies

VRISKA: I owe you revenge. It's just that easy!

TAVROS: bUT-

VRISKA (smug): It's just that easy!

TAVROS (idle): ...

VRISKA (angry): IT'S J-

TAVROS: bUT WHAT IF, sOMEONE WERE TO SAY, hYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING,

TAVROS: i DON'T THINK THATS THE THING I WANT TO, uMM, bE DOING

TAVROS (nervous): aT ALL, oR, eVEN SORT OF,,

TAVROS: aND THAT I STILL THINK IT WAS WRONG BUT I FORGIVE YOU FOR DOING THOSE THINGS THAT YOU SAID YOU DID, tO ME EARLIER,

VRISKA: No. You deserve revenge. Action 8egets action. This makes perfect sense to anyone who's 8een paying attention.

VRISKA (thinking):

VRISKA: You have to throw me off this cliff.

VRISKA: Then we'll 8e completely squared away.

TAVROS (nervous): uHH I DON'T THINK-

VRISKA (smug): I'm praaaaaaaactically an expert on this revenge thing. Trust me.

TAVROS: vRISKA I DON'T WANT TO DO A REVENGE ON YOU

TAVROS: fOR CRIMES, yOU HAVEN'T REALLY DONE, aND MAYBE SOME YOU DID,

TAVROS: aND THIS MAY, uHH, sEEM COUNTERPRODUCTIVE, tO YOUR IDEA

TAVROS (nervous): bUT IT SOUNDS LIKE, bEING THROWN OFF A CLIFF MIGHT NOT BE A HEALTHY COPING MECHANISM,

VRISKA: It's fine! Kill me, get your revenge, and I'll finally 8e on my way.

VRISKA (smug): Out of your life forever! Never to torment you again!

VRISKA: And whatever version of you this is can go on living your little life playing with your little monster dolls or whatever!

VRISKA (sad): Here on Alternia.

VRISKA (sad): 8efore everything goes wrong.

VRISKA: You can kill me now 8efore it's too late for you.

VRISKA (sad): 8efore I screw your life up.

VRISKA (smug): It's perfect!

TAVROS (nervous): nO I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT,

VRISKA: I know you have it in you. I've seen it.

VRISKA (angry): God damn it Tavros, if you don't kill me I can't move on.

VRISKA: You'd 8e doing me a favor.

VRISKA: Go on.

TAVROS (nervous): uHH,

VRISKA: Kill me.

TAVROS (nervous): nO,

VRISKA (angry): Hey get 8ack here!

TAVROS (nervous): nO!

VRISKA (angry): Stop running!

TAVROS: nO, i LOVE TO RUN AND, i DO NOT PLAN ON STOPPING, aNY TIME SOON,

VRISKA (angry): You kill me right this instant!

VRISKA: Damn it, I forgot how fast he used to 8e.

TAVROS: nO!

VRISKA (smug): Man, doing the right thing sure is hard work.

VRISKA: I didn't want to do this, Tavros, 8ut you're forcing my hand here. I won't make the same mistake again.

{Thief: Do the right thing.}

{It's really for the 8est.}

VRISKA: Good luck.

{Adios, Toreador.}

{==>}

{==>}

TAVROS: uHH, oH SHUCKS, bYE VRISKA,

{==>}

"You are now Vriska, and like any good Main Character, you find yourself on the precipice of an all too familiar Beach.

What will you do?"

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *dp pads through the underbrush of the forest, leaving paw prints after themselves in the freshly fallen snow*

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *their ears twitch cutely with every step they take beclaws as perfect a creature as they are cats are still too fucking stupid to invent proper p33ts protectors*

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *they will probably need to get these silly little beans amputated after walking through all this white shit but whatever its fine, at the end of this tail is an important furiend*

VRISKA: ...

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < every year farmers and freaks alike crowd around this curious critter wringing their sweaty boring human hands all nervously hoping for winters end

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but this overhyped moles shadow offurs a symbolic appouncement for the spider instead

VRISKA: ........

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < the breaking of cycles, dissolution of the self, whatever other philosophical rhetoric bill murray said in that one meowvie

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < its all up to you, spider, to grab this guy by the furry haunches bend him over and nonsexually spank him into submewssion

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < what will you do vriska?

VRISKA: *The spider doesn't do anything, 8ecause spiders don't have 8rains to make good choices. Instead, we're doomed to crawl around on our 8ellies like idiots, w8ing to 8e crushed under the giant furry ass of an animal so pathetic humans had to make up reasons to care a8out it, and with her luck she'll spend eternity 8uried alive under poop pellets du88ed the pharaoh of trash assholes and praying to die.*

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < vriskers not to ask an obvious question but

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < are you good?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (uncomfortable): B33 < you s33m... depressed

VRISKA: What are you talking a8out?

VRISKA: Isn't it o8vious how excited I am?

VRISKA: 8anging my head against a wall for several hours is practically my daily medit8tion now.

VRISKA (angry): "Purrhaps" today will 8e the day I finally give myself a deep enough pan lesion that my neurons will reset and I can finally understand what I'm supposed to 8e doing here.

VRISKA: Finally moving on FROM THIS 8ORING M8ND NUM8ING SHIIIIIIITTY PUNISHM8NT PIT.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < wrow

VRISKA: Sigh.

VRISKA: Can you please tell me what to do? And not in some coy, rounda8out way like you have 8een.

VRISKA: You're supposed to 8e guiding me, 8ut instead sweeps of my life are 8eing w8sted here when I could 8e doing so much more out there.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < trust me im trying!!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < my advice is just... a litter bit limited

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < ask me about mechanics or some dank catnip or even how to stunt down the stairs without breaking every bone in your body and i can chitter your ear off for another couple years

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < but countless cool dudes and kitty girls cant inform much on how to handle those classic serket problems

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < feel me?

VRISKA: Soooooooo what you are saying is you can't help 8ecause you are the Ultimate Winged Weener and can't relate to 8eing a huge 8itch like me?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < ha he

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < w33ner

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (cute): B33 < but yeah thats pretty much how it is

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you know what they say theres purrppets and then theres pawppet33rs

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < and both mew selves rather be on the yarn strings

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < so alot of my thoughts on how to come back from all your bullshit begins and ends at "i simply would not have done that in the first place"

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < no judgment of course

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < see if you had watched the damn groundhog movie youd have all the relatable advice youd n33d

VRISKA: I will never ever watch that stupid groundhog movie!

VRISKA: This is such 8ullshit. Like you're some softy, hurt-no8ody housecat! You literally defe8ed Lord English and kill wild animals with your 8are h8nds!!!!!!!!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < ok hunting is way different

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < blood and guts and broken wrists and fractured tailbones

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < thats nature and instinct it doesnt have to be mean

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (roleplay): B33 < *the fearsome gender neutral lionesster pins down its prey but instead of getting down to business growls out how the prey deserves this for being a big disappointing pussy*

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (uncomfortable): B33 < s33 very weird

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (cute): B33 < i might have to eat a guy but that doesnt mean i cant respect them

VRISKA: 8ut what if the natural order is exactly what's working against me here?

VRISKA (angry): Wh8t am I supposed to do then????????

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < sure hope thats not true...

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (cute): B33 < or well be here furrever!

[A chapter select screen appears. The remaining chapters are selected from this screen.]

Chapter 2

{Select "FLARP BOOK"}

VRISKA (sad): ........

TAVROS: oH,

TAVROS: hI VRISKA,

VRISKA (sad): Sigh.

VRISKA (sad): Hi Tavros.

TAVROS: ,,,,,

VRISKA (sad): ........

TAVROS (nervous): sHOULD I, bE WORRIED ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU, aRE NOT TALKING,

TAVROS (nervous): wHEN THAT IS, uHH, yOUR FAVORITE THING TO DO, uSUALLY,

VRISKA (sad): May8e.

VRISKA (sad): Who cares.

TAVROS (nervous): oKAY, tHEN,

TAVROS (nervous): sHOULD I MAYBE DO, oR SAY SOMETHING,

VRISKA (sad): It doesn't matter. We can do whatever you want.

TAVROS (nervous): iS THIS, a TRICK,,, i CAN NEVER TELL,

VRISKA: No, Tavros, I've already tried tricking you. It doesn't work.

VRISKA (angry): I've apologized, I've killed you, you've killed me, you've paralyzed me, disfigured me, we traveled the world together.

VRISKA (angry): We 8uilt you an army, had several revolutions, you got to do your little dance a thousand times over.

TAVROS: wOAH,

TAVROS (smirk): bADASS,

VRISKA: Not that you remem8er any of it, asshole.

VRISKA: And even worse, none of it was what I was supposed to do, apparently!

VRISKA: Now I'm too tired to try and fix this anymore.

VRISKA: I think it's time we face the music.

VRISKA (sad): You 8roke me, Pupa.

TAVROS: oH,

TAVROS: mY BAD,

TAVROS: aND ALSO MY BAD, fOR NOT REMEMBERING THINGS, tHAT DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN,

TAVROS: ,,,

TAVROS: sO, dO YOU REALLY MEAN IT,

VRISKA: Mean what?

TAVROS: pARTICIPATING IN AN ACTIVITY, oF,,, mY OWN CHOOSING,

VRISKA: Sure, why the hell not? What do you want to do?

TAVROS (nervous): wELL, iF YOU ARE, BEING HONEST, AND NOT LYING,

TAVROS (nervous): tHEN, i,

TAVROS (nervous): wANT,,,,

VRISKA: ........

TAVROS (smiling): tO PLAY A GAME, }:),

VRISKA (jaw drop): THAT'S what you want to do? Actually?

TAVROS (smiling): iT'S WHAT I ALWAYS WANT TO DO,

TAVROS (smiling): i CAN GO, sET EVERYTHING UP,

TAVROS: uNLESS YOU WERE DOING THAT THING, wHERE YOU TELL ME A THING, tHAT IS UNTRUE,

TAVROS: AGAIN,

What will you do?

VRISKA (angry): Fiiiiiiiine.

VRISKA: I'm already here, might as well knock another option off the list I GUESS.

{Play game.}

TAVROS (smiling): yAY!

VRISKA (scared): I won........

TAVROS: tHAT,

TAVROS (smiling): wAS AWESOME!

TAVROS: mY CHARACTER EARNED SO MUCH XP,

TAVROS: hEHEHE,

VRISKA: 8ut I won. Why hasn't this place spit me out yet?

TAVROS (smiling): wHILE YOU WAIT, fOR WHATEVER YOU SEEM TO THINK WILL HAPPEN,

TAVROS (smiling): lETS PLAY ANOTHER SESSION,

VRISKA: No offense, dude, 8ut that was incredi8ly easy for me. Do you reeeeeeeeally think you stand a chance at winning the next game?

TAVROS: uGH, mAYBE NOT,

TAVROS: bUT, i DON'T CARE THAT MUCH ABOUT lOSING,

TAVROS (smiling): i JUST WANT TO PLAY,

TAVROS: iN THAT WAY, iTS LIKE, wE ARE BOTH WINNERS,

VRISKA (angry): No we are not. I won.

VRISKA (angry): You didn't, and you have to accept that.

TAVROS: oKAY, bUT, i DON'T,

TAVROS: oR, i GUESS I DO, bUT, nOT IN THE WAY YOU WANT ME TO,

VRISKA: In that c8se, let's play another session! Let's just keep playing sessions over and over again and never stop!!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: And for the rest of forever, you will lose every single one of them.

VRISKA: How does that m8ke you feel, you still “ok8y” with that?

TAVROS: wELL, tHOUGH IT WOULD BE EXCITING TO WIN,

TAVROS: iF WE PLAY, aND I COULD LOSE IN A NEW, dIFFERENT WAY,

TAVROS: tHAT IS ALSO PRETTY EXCITING, sTILL,

TAVROS (smiling eyesclosed): lIKE AN ADVENTURE, };),

VRISKA: Damn.

VRISKA: That is quite possi8ly the gayest thing I have ever heard someone say, Nitram.

TAVROS: wHAT DOES THAT, uHH, eVEN MEAN,

VRISKA: I don't know! It's a human word Dave would repeat all the time 8efore I started using it against him.

VRISKA (smiling): They tried expl8ning the context a few times, but honestly none of it made any sense. It was just only a 8unch of made up crap from a dead alien culture.

TAVROS: dAVE, wHAT?

VRISKA: Who cares, essentially it's just what you call people after they say something incredi8ly inane and need to shut up.

TAVROS: oKAY,

TAVROS (smiling): wELL THEN, vRISKA, i THINK YOU, aRE gAY TOO,

VRISKA: Tavros, you can't just call me gay when I haven't said anything stupid, that's not how this works!

TAVROS (smirk): yOU AND I, aRE BOTH STUPID GAY,

TAVROS (smirk): nOW BASED OFF THE RULES OF GAY, wE HAVE TO SHUT UP AND GAME,

VRISKA (angry): I'm not gay, stop saying I'm gaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!

VRISKA (angry): I swear you're more 8ullheaded than Karkat sometimes.

VRISKA (angry): At least he concedes to 8eing pissed off and giving a shit.

VRISKA (smug): Come on, you can 8e honest with me for once. It 8others you right, always 8eing too weak to fight, always getting dealt a 8ad h8nd?

TAVROS: mAYBE?

TAVROS: bUT ALSO, iF SOMEONE DIDN'T LOSE, fOLLOWING ALL THESE RULES WOULDN'T BE VERY AMUSING,

TAVROS (smiling): sO REALLY, lOSING IS ACTUALLY A FINE AND NORMAL THING TO HAPPEN,

VRISKA: What is your fucking pro8lem m8n!

TAVROS (nervous): lITERALLY, nOTHING?

TAVROS (nervous): yOU ARE REALLY, uHH, cONCERNING YOURSELF HERE, wITH ME LOSING,

VRISKA (angry): 8ecause it's frustrating! You act completely unaware of the fact that the world is working against you!

TAVROS: i, dON'T BELIEVE THAT'S NECESSARILY TRUE,

VRISKA (angry): You couldn't even fit in your own recuperacoon 8ecause of your horns, what kind of sick joke is THAT?

TAVROS: yES, tHAT IS UNFORTUNATE,

TAVROS: bUT, nOT A BIG DEAL,

VRISKA: Ok sure, that was a weak example and at this point of your life nothing 8ad had happened yet, 8ut it was coming!

VRISKA (angry): You could dream of cavalreapers all you wanted, 8ut whether it was on or off planet, you weren't going to sk8 8y forever.

VRISKA (sad): You were doomed, Tavros, and you didn't even care.

TAVROS: bUT,

TAVROS: i WASN'T,

TAVROS: aLTERNIA WAS,

TAVROS: aND, tHE ONLY PERSON THAT EVER KILLED ME,

TAVROS: wAS YOU, vRISKA,

VRISKA (smug): Ah HA, so y8u DO remem8er everyth8ng, you 8ig li8r!

TAVROS: hMM,

TAVROS (smiling): nO,

VRISKA (jaw drop): W-Wh8?

VRISKA (breaking point): WH8T?????????

VRISKA (jaw drop): AAAAAAAAAH!

VRISKA (jaw drop): God, it's coming back to me so clearly why ex8ctly I h8ed you so much.

VRISKA: You're like a moo8east walking up to the 8olt gun, out of its own volition.

VRISKA (smug): Like, what is it? Do you h8 yourself so much trying to survive was a h8ssle for you?

TAVROS (smiling): i DON'T THINK THAT THOUGHT, eVER, cROSSED MY MIND!

VRISKA (angry): Well it should h8ve!!!!!!!!

VRISKA (angry): You know, fine, you weren't good enough to live, 8ut you could've had the decency to 8e afraid.

TAVROS (nervous): i GUESS, i CAN'T SAY, tHESE IDEAS DON'T MAKE SENSE,

TAVROS (nervous): tO SOMEONE THAT'S NOT ME,

TAVROS: yET, aPPLIED TO ME, aS MY OWN THOUGHTS,

TAVROS: tHEY ARE, cOMPLETELY MAKE BELIEVE,

TAVROS: i, dON'T UNDERSTAND WHERE THEY ARE COMING FROM,

TAVROS: iT IS, aS IF, yOU ARE CONFUSING ME, wITH THE, uHH, fEELINGS OF SOMEBODY ELSE,

TAVROS: oR,

TAVROS (surprise): !

VRISKA: Shut up.

TAVROS (smirk): aRE YOU, tHE SOMEBODY ELSE, vRISKA,

VRISKA: ........

TAVROS: hUH,

TAVROS: wHAT WORD, iF THERE WAS ONE, wOULD BE USED FOR THIS PHENOMENON,

VRISKA: ........

VRISKA (sad): I think if a certain uppity human was here, she'd call it “projecting.”

TAVROS: tRUE, yOU DO TREAT ME LIKE A PROJECT,

TAVROS: tHERE IS, i THINK, a MUCH BETTER WAY TO PUT IT,

TAVROS (smirk): iT'S AS IF, i'M YOUR RUFIOH,

VRISKA: No.

TAVROS: uHHH, yES,

TAVROS: bUT INSTEAD OF BEING YOUR BEST PAL WITH HIGH SELF ESTEEM, i, rEMIND YOU OF ALL YOUR FEARS,

TAVROS: aND, bAD THOUGHTS,

TAVROS: aND, aM VERY REAL,

VRISKA: Nope. A8solutely not.

TAVROS: i THINK, i AM MOST DEFINITELY, hITTING THE NAIL ON THE HEAD, hERE,

VRISKA: Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! WRONG! WRONG!

TAVROS: nO NEED TO BE ASHAMED, oF YOUR INSANE DELUSIONS,

VRISKA: WROOOOOOOONG!!!!!!!!

TAVROS: i LOVE NOW KNOWING, tHAT YOU HAVE PROBLEMS,

TAVROS: aND, i THINK YOU ARE, aCTUALLY, bEING INCREDIBLY SMART,

TAVROS: pERHAPS, rUFIOH WAS TOO FAKE FOR AN IMAGINARY FRIEND, aND, tHAT'S WHY MY SELF ESTEEM NEVER IMPROVED,

TAVROS (smiling): wHAT I MEAN IS, wE BOTH, cOULD BE PROJECTS, fOR EACH OTHER,

VRISKA: Noooooooo.

TAVROS: yEEEEEEEES,

VRISKA: >::::(

TAVROS (smiling eyesclosed): i FEEL, sO VERY INSPIRED RIGHT NOW, i COULD DO A LITTLE DANCE,

VRISKA: Don't.

TAVROS: oK THEN CONSIDER,

TAVROS: iN OUR NEXT CAMPAIGN, tHE BOY SKYLARK,,, bECOMES HIS OWN, uH, bLUE FAIRY,

VRISKA: You're not 8lue Tavros. Don't start pretending to 8e 8lue.

TAVROS: i WON'T,

TAVROS (smirk): i WILL, iNSTEAD, bE THE MUCH RARER BRONZE FAIRY, wHO COMMANDS BEAST WITH HER RESPLENDENT SONG, bUT, iS ACTUALLY USING HER PSYCHIC POWERS,

TAVROS: aND, sHE WILL BE SUPER NICE, aND SOFT, aND AWESOME BECAUSE, eVERYONE LIKES HER,

TAVROS (smiling eyesclosed): cONTRARY, tO HER EVIL FAIRY FRIEND, wHO EVERYONE HATES, fOR BEING A BIG ASSHOLE,

VRISKA: ........

TAVROS: sORRY,

VRISKA: No you're not, you're totally proud of yourself!!!!!!!!

TAVROS: oKAY, i'M NOT,

TAVROS (smirk): hEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE,

VRISKA: Fuck it, what other choice do I have 8ut 8e on 8oard with this whole trainwreck.

VRISKA (smiling): Let's play some games for girls.

VRISKA: I'll get the character sheets, where did you put them?

TAVROS: oH, tHAT WAS, uHH, pRETTY EASY,

TAVROS: i WAS, mOSTLY JOKING,

VRISKA: Were you? Were you really?

TAVROS: uHHHHHHHH,

TAVROS: i THINK I NEED SOME TIME, tO THINK ON THAT,

VRISKA: You know what I realized, Tavros? This might 8e the first time I ever seriously sat down and 8othered to listen to you.

VRISKA: And for the first time it's hitting me. You're kind of nuts.

TAVROS: tHAT'S FUNNY TO HEAR, cOMING FROM YOU, oF ALL PEOPLE,

VRISKA: You're right, it is funny.

VRISKA: This whole time I thought I was supposed to 8e pushing you.

VRISKA: It's soooooooo o8vious now, that was pretty fucking stupid of me. There was nothing I could have done to change your mind, huh?

ARADIABOT (shadowed): exactly

ARADIABOT (shadowed): y0ure finally starting t0 get it

{==>}

[Fade to black, then...]

VRISKA (jaw drop): !!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Where the hell am I?

VRISKA: Tavros????????

VRISKA: Aradia… 8ot?

VRISKA: ... LOMAT.

ARADIABOT: im n0t g0ing t0 kill y0u

ARADIABOT: in case y0u were w0ndering

VRISKA: Yeah, that was going to 8e my next question.

VRISKA: Are you... aware of the situation? Does this mean I finally cleared Tavros and you're the next level of helltier?

ARADIABOT: i w0uldnt say that

ARADIABOT: m0re accurately this is the b0ss fight t0 drive the p0int h0me

VRISKA: Team Charge as a package deal, how is that allowed?

ARADIABOT: because shut up

ARADIABOT: shut up is h0w

VRISKA: Ruuuuuuuude. 8ut honestly, I'm so happy to see a new face that I'm not even mad a8out it.

What will you do?

VRISKA: That said... if I was confused 8efore, now I'm really lost.

VRISKA: Shouldn't we 8e 8ack at your hive, with me on my knees telling you I wished I never killed you or something?

VRISKA: Take my eternity with those ghostly dead jerks on the chin, and let you live out your life.

ARADIABOT (shadowed): after everything that has happened y0u still think the p0int of all this is m0re punishment?

VRISKA: It's not........?

ARADIABOT: weve d0ne that already it d0esnt w0rk

VRISKA: 8ut you felt 8etter the first time, right? Remem8er how good this moment was, taking life into your own hands and getting the last fist in this cycle of revenge?

VRISKA: You got me soooooooo good, you can't go 8ack and say killing me was meaningless now!

ARADIABOT: yes i can

ARADIABOT: im a r0b0t

ARADIABOT: i d0nt feel g00d 0r bad 0r justified

ARADIABOT: i just d0 my j0b

VRISKA: Come on!!!!!!!! Even while piloting that hunk of tin, you have to admit it was a little satisfying.

ARADIABOT: maybe f0r y0u

VRISKA: Excuse me?

ARADIABOT: what i mean is y0u g0t exactly what y0u wanted

ARADIABOT: y0u were ex0nerated vriska thats what its always been ab0ut

VRISKA: Don't say that! I worked my ass off to m8ke things right!

VRISKA: I never once asked to 8e f8rgiven for free, I always paid the price!

VRISKA: Would it kill you to notice that? To see how hard I'm trying?

ARADIABOT: pr0bably

ARADIABOT: d0es it even matter

ARADIABOT: wh0 can aff0rd t0 care when they kn0w y0ure g0ing t0 hurt them again?

VRISKA: I WON'T!

ARADIABOT (shadowed): y0u will

VRISKA: FINE!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: 8ut what am I supp8sed to do then? Get 8eaten and 8ruised and mutil8ed and h8 myself forever, knowing n8ne of it will ever 8e enough?

ARADIABOT: sure

ARADIABOT: thats h0w y0u like it anyways

ARADIABOT: always taking

ARADIABOT: never c0mpr0mising

VRISKA: That's h8w you see me????????

VRISKA (smug): 8h8h8h8h8h8h8h8h, you... you 8lue 8looded trash c8n!

VRISKA (mind control): Who cares what you think then! None of this is real anyw8ys.

VRISKA (mind control): And that means the usual rules don't 8pply right? Who needs to sit around arguing when I can M8KE YOU C8RE!

ARADIABOT (shadowed): why are y0u hesitating?

What will you do?

ARADIABOT: this is the 0nly way right?

What will you do?

ARADIABOT: this is h0w y0u win

What will you do?

ARADIABOT: d0 it

WHAT WILL YOU DO?

VRISKA: D8MN IT!

ARADIABOT: g00d j0b

VRISKA (breaking point): Sh8t 8p!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: I thought you said you wer8n't going to punish me anym8re!

ARADIABOT: im n0t

ARADIABOT: that was a test

ARADIABOT: and y0u passed

VRISKA (angry): Gr8, glad to hear 8t!

VRISKA (angry): Can y8u tell m8 how to get 8ut of here now?

VRISKA (sad): I me8n........ what do I have t8 do to finally redeem myself.

ARADIABOT: y0ure n0t here t0 be redeemed vriska y0ure here t0 gr0w up

VRISKA (breaking point): ........ WH8T THE H8LL DOES TH8T MEAN?

ARADIABOT (palm face): y0u are very g00d at saying s0rry

ARADIABOT (palm face): pr0bably because y0ure c0nstantly creating situati0ns y0u have t0 say s0rry f0r

ARADIABOT (palm face): why is that

VRISKA (smug): Uhhhhhhhh, 8ecause I'm a 8ig idiot who sucks?

ARADIABOT: 0k

VRISKA: 8ut I have to 8e this way!

VRISKA: When everyone else starts slacking off and getting compl8cent I'm the 8ossy 8road that shakes everything up and puts them 8ack on track.

ARADIABOT: thats kind 0f sad

VRISKA (angry): No it's not, it's awesome!

ARADIABOT: d0 y0u even want t0 be that b0ssy br0ad?

VRISKA (angry): Of course I do!!!!!!!!

VRISKA (angry): If I wasn't, what good would I 8e to anyone? What would even 8e the point of keeping me around? Of 8eing alive????????

ARADIABOT (palm face): see what i mean that is a very sad thing t0 say

ARADIABOT: i d0nt think its true either

ARADIABOT: i think that even at y0ur m0st useless self there is a place in the w0rld f0r y0u

ARADIABOT: and pe0ple in it that want t0 share a life with y0u if y0ud let them

VRISKA (jaw drop): Y-you can't mean that?

ARADIABOT: i d0

VRISKA: Aradia ........

VRISKA: Am I the pro8lem?

ARADIABOT: 0o0

ARADIABOT: i am g0ing t0 expl0de again

VRISKA (sad): I'm 8eing serious! If I hear you out, take all this crap seriously, do you actually think I could change?

ARADIABOT: 0f c0urse!

ARADIABOT: y0u already have

VRISKA (jaw drop): I have????????

ARADIABOT: yes

ARADIABOT: alternia and the game and the mete0r and everything else y0uve lived thr0ugh have made y0u incrementally different than y0u were bef0re

ARADIABOT: y0u are in c0nstant m0ti0n every m0ment y0ure alive

VRISKA: Oh. I wasn't expecting you to say that, that's actually kind of nice to hear!

ARADIABOT: thats why stagnati0n and cycles are s0 danger0us

ARADIABOT: y0u get c0mf0rtable with their r0utine

ARADIABOT: all the while ign0rant t0 the c0rrupti0n c0nsistently layering 0n t0p 0f itself

ARADIABOT: sl0wly making y0u w0rse

ARADIABOT: and w0rse

ARADIABOT (shadowed): and w0rse

ARADIABOT: until n0thing is left

VRISKA: Jeeze.

VRISKA: There it is, there is that fucking Megido-patented 8ummer.

ARADIABOT: yeah

VRISKA: I don't completely get it, honestly.

ARADIABOT: that aligns with y0ur aspect

ARADIABOT: light players define themselves by their direct acti0ns and understanding

ARADIABOT: the unique privilege 0f being a time player is 0ur intrinsic kn0wledge 0f h0w it all keeps happening

VRISKA: So cooooooool.

ARADIABOT (palm face): >.>

VRISKA: Fine, may8e you've got a point. MAY8E there is some8ody out there still w8ing for me, even after all my fum8ling.

VRISKA (sad): It's something, I guess.

VRISKA: Can I ask one more question?

ARADIABOT: 0k

VRISKA (sad): Not to 8eat a dead ro8ot, 8ut despite everything that happened, could we have ever 8een friends?

ARADIABOT: y0u mean if y0u had put in the time and w0rked 0n wh0 y0u are and bec0me ultimately the best versi0n 0f y0urself?

ARADIABOT: hmm

ARADIABOT: n0

VRISKA (jaw drop): !!!!!!!!

VRISKA (jaw drop): C-can I 8sk why????????

VRISKA (jaw drop): D8 you h8 me that much?

ARADIABOT: i d0nt hate y0u

ARADIABOT: but i d0nt want to spend my time 0n y0u either

VRISKA (breaking point): 8ut!!!!!!!!

ARADIABOT (shadowed): V.V

VRISKA (angry): ........

VRISKA (sad): ........ ok.

VRISKA: Ok.

{Vriska: Take Aradia's hand.}

{==>}

VRISKA: I know it doesn't change anything, 8ecause it already happened and also you two aren't even real.

VRISKA: 8ut I am actually sorry. For everything.

TAVROS: yOURE RIGHT, iT'S DEFINITELY POINTLESS TO SAY, bUT, iT IS AN APPRECI8TED GESTURE };)

{==>}

VRISKA: And, it's not going to 8e the same again.

VRISKA: I'll stick with it this time. I promise.

ARADIA: we kn0w

ARADIA: y0u have t0

ARADIA: n0 0ne else is g0ing t0 save y0u n0w

VRISKA: 8ecause it's just me left?

ARADIA: yes

ARADIA: its just y0u

ARADIA: g00d luck vriska

ARADIA: i h0pe y0u get better s00n

{Level Complete!}

Chapter 3

"YEAR 4"

NANNASPRITE: Oh there you are!

NANNASPRITE: Feeling like you're getting your lucky mojo back again?

VRISKA: Not really. ::::/

VRISKA: 8ut everyone has 8een trying so hard to cheer me up, I thought I'd give it another try.

NANNASPRITE: Tell Nanna about it, you know how I love a good bit of girl talk.

VRISKA: I don't want to 8ore you, it's just the same pro8lem as always.

VRISKA (sad): Finally I get my sea legs and figured out what this whole process is a8out, 8reeze through Eridan and John and Kanaya, only to get stuck all over again on HER.

NANNASPRITE: Well I am sure there is some common thread, every trial you face is designed to better prepare you for the next.

VRISKA: I'm not so sure........she's different from the rest of them. And no matter how I approach this, I can't figure out what the hell she wants.

NANNASPRITE: You'll figure it out sooner than you expect, deary! I have the utmost faith in you.

VRISKA: Thanks Nannasprite! Honestly having you and Nannasprite 2 here has made this whole experience way more 8earable.

NANNASPRITE (giggle): You know what they say, flattery will get you all the cookies two lovely aged blue ladies can fit in one oven.

VRISKA: Hell yeeeeeeees!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: It's funny thinking 8ack on it, John and I actually had a conversation a8out you sweeps ago.

VRISKA (smiling): We kind of 8onded over how, past our cultural differences, we shared this same experience of connecting to our predecessors through their writings.

VRISKA: I'm glad he finally got to meet you. I hope he appreci8ted every minute of it!

NANNASPRITE (giggle): Oh ho, I'd like to think so!

NANNASPRITE: I miss that boy, he could be such a pill at times but we had some lovely chats. Always sung his heart out during our little “jam seshs,” too.

VRISKA (smiling): Doooooooork! Can you 8elieve he has his own little progeny now, strutting his shit in that same oddly secure, self-assured way?

VRISKA: I wonder how those kids are doing right now........

VRISKA: What exactly do humans get out of these familial prim8 relationships, anyway?

VRISKA: Is it a chemical manipulation thing?

NANNASPRITE: Some would say so, and of course there is some truth to that.

NANNASPRITE: That said, it's hardly the whole story... People are much too concerned with trying to boil down these kinds of marvelous profundities to cold hard facts.

NANNASPRITE (giggle): I'd go blue in the face trying to lay out every rhyme and flimsy whimsy a person could have for baking up a brood, hoo hoo!

VRISKA: You prolifer8ed yourself though, right? Why?

NANNASPRITE: Hm. There was a beautiful sense of novelty to it, I suppose.

NANNASPRITE: Like both John and you, my role model was my own tome of japes, left behind by my dearly departed adoptive father.

NANNASPRITE: It never sat right with me, how limited my experience with actual humans was.

NANNASPRITE: I couldn't exactly bring that man back from the dead, but I could put myself in his shoes and do the bang up job he never had the opportunity to do. Not to mention, I like babies! :B

VRISKA: That's it?

VRISKA (angry): I don't know, couldn't you have done anything else? What's so special a8out 8a8ies? I saw one in passing and they're weird as hell! Rose told me they even pee their damn pants!

NANNASPRITE (giggle): They sure do! Sometimes, they'll even pee on you too.

VRISKA (jaw drop): They pee ON people!

VRISKA: What........

VRISKA: That sounds like a nightmare.

NANNASPRITE (giggle): It is! One time my son laughed at me as it was happening!

VRISKA (angry): Uuuuuuuugh!!!!!!!!

NANNASPRITE: He was right, though. It was funny.

VRISKA: So that was it? There wasn't anything else you wanted in life? You were fine with pee?

NANNASPRITE: Well I was fairly enamored of the idea of getting even, once upon a time.

NANNASPRITE: So many nights spent plotting that awful woman's downfall and making her pay for all the indignities of my childhood. For always making me feel like I was powerless to do anything.

NANNASPRITE: For a while I even thought it was my fate!

VRISKA: Yessssssss! That's what I'm fucking talking a8out!

NANNASPRITE: Hush up now, none of that! Fantasizing about all that even after my own death and resurrection is absurd!

NANNASPRITE: Not to mention that now, after seeing what my younger self has gotten up to in this realm, I clearly underestimated the depth of my own desires.

VRISKA: C'mon, we're not doing this again. You can't keep comparing yourself to her! She's a freak and you're like the least freakish person I've ever met.

NANNASPRITE (serious): I'm not trying to get down on myself, deary, it's simply a fact of reality. I'll never know if any of my schemes coming to fruition would have left me satisfied, and now I highly doubt it!

NANNASPRITE (serious): The past is always going to be the past.

VRISKA: ...

NANNASPRITE: It's all a bit embarrassing, really... All that said, watching your progress these past few years has inspired me to frame the whole debacle a bit differently.

VRISKA: Oh?

NANNASPRITE (serious): I had always wanted Betty Crocker to know what a mistake it was to steal my life, my potential, from me.

NANNASPRITE (serious): But the real issue was that not once during my childhood did I ever feel particularly wanted, or welcomed, into the world. I only had my brother, and even he ran off on me!

NANNASPRITE (serious): Yet despite that fact, and the anger and the disappointment, I still raised someone who knew what it was like to be loved.

NANNASPRITE (serious): I never once questioned choosing my son over some run of the mill escapade or rousing romp. And while in my twilight years of retired spritehood, I have often pondered the “could be.”

NANNASPRITE: Seeing that choice isn't innate to every iteration of Jane Crocker has assured me that I did indeed fulfill a path of potential to its fullest degree. I'm grateful to her for that... marginally.

VRISKA: I guess that makes sense. Weren't you worried, though? That you weren't following the right path, or living up to your destiny?

NANNASPRITE (giggle): I never even considered that, hoo hoo!

NANNASPRITE: Is that how you kids think these days? My lord, no wonder none of you go outside anymore.

VRISKA (angry): Don't p8tronize me, old lady! Destiny's the found8tion of my godhood!

NANNASPRITE: True. I am only a simple elderly woman, stand-mixed with the unknowable secrets of the universe and a one-armed clown doll. But from experience, I would still argue that destiny mostly fulfills itself.

NANNASPRITE (wink): There are many more important things you should focus on, such as getting the heck out of here!

VRISKA: Wow, I've 8een pep-talked and I didn't even realize it. You have a point, though... It's not like I have any other plan 8ut to keep trying.

VRISKA (sad): Also, sorry for getting snippy there. <::::(

NANNASPRITE: Don't fret over it dear, a blue gentlewoman appreciates a bit of bite to her compeers.

VRISKA (smiling): See Nannasprite, you're the only one that gets it. You're a real one.

NANNASPRITE (giggle): DAMN right I am.

VRISKA: Woah, getting crazy now.

NANNASPRITE (giggle): Tee hee! <;B

VRISKA: <33333333

> {Choose Mindfang's Journal.}

[Fade to white.]

> {????????}

The girl was thrown into emptiness.

Despite the darkness, the space wasn't foreign. The way the moons hung in the sky, the sound of the waves as they crashed, the 8reeze, these were all familiar sens8tions.

As was the figure 8efore her. Though she had only ever seen it 8ehind her eyes, its form was shaped 8y words.

VRISKA: You can drop the ominous 8uild up, I already know the twist.

Oh? Had the thief 8een here 8efore?

VRISKA (stoic): Yep! In 8rief summary, at least once a week for the last 2 years.

VRISKA: 8roaching every kind of chit chat that goes a8solutely nowhere.

VRISKA: The whole endeavor usually ends with me either killing you or... feeding myself to you.

VRISKA (angry smiling): And for some reason, you talk like a 8ook. Which is a huge head8che, 8y the way!

Well she was a 8ook, our esteemed narr8tor. That's how Vriska knew her, at any r8te. And unlike a certain someone, she knew the value of showmanship.

VRISKA (angry smiling): Yeah, you really shook me the first time around.

VRISKA (angry smiling): You were all like, “Surprise, 8itch. I'm 8oth the Marquise, and your lusus!” And I fell str8 on my ass, flipping the fuck out like a 8ig tool.

VRISKA (stoic): 8ut FYI, after the last hundred or so reveals, it just comes off as trying waaaaaaaay too hard.

Hmph!

[SFX. A chittering noise.]

[The screen shakes, and fades to...]

VRISKA (stoic): Hi Momfang.

VRISKA (stoic): It's 8een a 8it. How are you?

The spider did not pause to find an answer; she already had one.

“HUNGRY. KILL. EAT. SHIT. DEATH.”

VRISKA: So same as usual! Awesome. Glad to hear it.

VRISKA: So what's on the agenda this time? Do NOT say revisiting how I found that old journal, or my first feeding.

(thinking annoyed) Would the spiderling prefer returning to the day she got stuck in this we8 and had to eat her way out?

VRISKA (angry): No!!!!!!!! I do NOT want to 8e a kid again, period.

What a8out the day her lusus died?

VRISKA (angry): Done that! Sick of it! I always almost drown in 8lood, and it makes the whole canyon smell terri8le.

VRISKA (angry): It's 8ad enough 8eing stuck 8ack in this place. If you go down memory lane again, I'm jumping.

The girl was 8linded 8y her pup8ed angst. As 8efouled as those we8s were, this gossamer carnage had 8een home, once. Her time here made her who she was.

VRISKA (stoic): Is that why we're here, in argua8ly one of my least favorite places to exist?

VRISKA (stoic): Instead of telling me my own origin story, can we skip to the end where I clear this shit once and for all and move on to someone that matters?

(thinking annoyed) The Thief's request was denied 8y the narr8tor, who wondered if it would kill the younger Serket to colla8or8. Had she not once intric8ley woven her own daring campaigns? What happened to that thespian vivacity?

VRISKA: I don't know if it's a f8tal symptom of watching the sweeps go 8y, 8ut FLARPing isn't as fun anymore. A lot of energy and drama for nothing.

(thinking annoyed) That statement was so un8elieva8le as to 8e almost insulting. Who could deny a little drama? Everyone appreci8ted a good game. Especially the girl.

VRISKA: Ok, yes, I am attached to the struggle. 8ut 8ack then, all that satisf8ction was pretty short lived.

VRISKA (sad): Every win, I had to share with her. Every moment, I felt her w8ting for me. It feels 8ad, not getting a choice when you do all the fucking work.

When we were sailing the high seas, we did not exhaust our exploits with self indulgent contrition.

Daily we made 8ets with death, and whichever faulty panlo8es occasionally sparked empathetic were rightly silenced, that we might revel in our winnings undistur8ed. We have always taken what we wanted

VRISKA (sad): Sure, the 8ooty was gr8, up until the point where there was no one left to play with. After that, it was all as good as gar8age.

That spoke to a pro8lem with the girl's mindset. Trolls died. On a planet 8uilt to 8reed killers, was that such a 8ad thing?

Little spider8ite 8eat them all. Not 8ecause she was talented, or smart, or particularly strong, though she was all of those things. It was 8ecause she learned the rules 8efore anyone else did.

VRISKA (stoic): So I'm only alive thanks to you? 8ecause you were just that necessary and important?

It was true.

“GRU8.”

VRISKA (angry smiling): 8ZZZZZZZZT WRONG! I'm not falling for that hoofshit again.

VRISKA (angry smiling): I've already tried respecting you for making me the 8est, 8ut you know what I'm realizing?

VRISKA (angry smiling): I didn't have to go through aaaaaaaall of THAT to 8e strong. Vrissy didn't!

VRISKA (angry): Even growing up in a f8ke world where no one has a spine, and with 8arely any guidance, her powers can do things mine can't.

VRISKA (angry smiling): So what silver lining is left, honestly?

........

VRISKA (angry smiling): 8ut that's the point, right?

VRISKA: There is no p8sitive spin, no learning to appreci8 you, 8ecause even 8y Alternian st8ndards you sucked!

VRISKA (angry): You weren't a cust8dian, you were a responsi8ility.

VRISKA: I protected you, I c8red for you, and you would have happily killed me the moment things didn't go your w8y.

And?

VRISKA (jaw drop): Th8t's not fucking norm8l!!!!!!!

It was for a spider.

VRISKA (sad): God, you're insuffera8le!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: I had one place I was supposed to feel safe.

VRISKA (angry): Why did you h8ve to 8e everything wrong with the w8rld, rolled into one terri8le monster?

The spider has no answer to that. She has never once thought of her own n8ture. She has only ever lived and devoured.

"HUNGRY. KILL. FUCK. EAT. FEED."

VRISKA (angry): I KN8W YOU'RE HUNGRY! What a8out me? My entire gru8hood, I gave and you took. F8r once, what a8out what I w8nt?!

She has never considered this.

And wasn't considering it now, to 8e clear.

8ut the narr8tor was curious, what DID the spiderling want from the monster?

To hear her say “THANK YOU” for the young girl's service, for her to 8e “SORRY"?

VRISKA (angry): What I w8nt is for you to go 8ack in time and pr8tect that fucking kid, like you were supposed to!!!!!!!!

VRISKA (angry): If you did, may8e I'd 8e a8le to relax and let my f8cking guard down for ONCE, instead of const8ntly ruining things and thinking everyone is going to turn around and kill me!

VRISKA: Oh my god.

VRISKA (angry): Tavros was right!!!!!!!!

"FOOD?"

VRISKA (angry): Sh8t the f8ck up!!!!!!!!

VRISKA (angry): Now I get why talking to all my friends finally led up to you.

VRISKA (angry): Y8u're the reason why I could never trust any8ody!

VRISKA (sad): Even h8r!!!!!!!! Especi8lly her.

VRISKA: I was so terrified of getting it wrong, so I'm stuck following in the footsteps 8f the M8rquise.

And what, thought our intrepid narr8tor, was so 8ad a8out that? She'd always seen herself a comfort to the young troll.

She taught her descendant so much, and in such lurid detail.

VRISKA: It was 80% smut!!!!!!!!

It was a well written, one-of-a-kind historical document that mapped out all the swash8uckling majesty of a 8rilliant woman's destiny.

VRISKA: Of course you'd s8y that, you wr8te it!

VRISKA: 8ut sure, y8u helped keep me alive, and m8de me a wicked pir8. Unfortun8tely, it made everyone else h8 me!

VRISKA (sad): I could have 8een any8ody... and you took that aw8y from me. You made me afraid of it.

“STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. STUPID.”

The girl has to 8e reminded, she is not special.

She is not the victim of some gr8 tragedy.

She is an apex predator. A 8iological, existential threat to all those that cross her path. She thought showing weakness would have solved all her pro8lems? Those irrelevant victims she spent so much time mourning didn't want her companionship.

They wanted to make new holes inside of her, to ensure their own survival.

“IDIOT.”

VRISKA (angry): Stop it, I don't want to think like that anymore!!!!!!!!

It was the girl's 8irthright to 8e voracious and awful. Those 8lueprints could not 8e a8andoned. The spider, the narr8tor, the child, they were all looking into the same mirror.

“TRAPPED.”

VRISKA (angry): PLEASE!!!!!!!! I kn8w, 8k!?

VRISKA (angry): Why didn't you just st8y de8d!!!!!!!! Why didn't I k8ll y8u s88ner!!!!!!!! I should h8ve s8ved myself 8efore it was too l8!!!!!!!!

8ut even as she said it, the Thief knew that was never an option.

Emancip8tion couldn't 8e granted to either party, only mutually assured destruction.

VRISKA (jaw drop): ........

VRISKA (sad): I wish it had 8een different.

Impossi8le.

VRISKA (sad): I wish I was 8orn some8ody else.

Another dead end.

VRISKA (angry): Fine, fuck!

VRISKA (angry): JUST LET M8 GET 8UT FROM UNDER Y8U, THEN! L8T ME 8E MY OWN F8CKING PERSON, F8R ONCE!!!!!!!!

What will you do?

VRISKA: ........

“HUNGRY.”

VRISKA: Huh.

“KILL.”

VRISKA: You know, every week I come in here trying to figure out what more you could possi8ly want from me, and every week it's the same shit.

VRISKA (smiling): I really am suuuuuuuuch a moron.

“FEED.”

VRISKA (smiling): Exactly. It was never any deeper than that, the answer was right in front of my face.

VRISKA: Well. I'm not your free meal ticket anymore.

M8ricide, then?

VRISKA: Nah.

VRISKA: I never really wanted that either.

Lest the girl forget, there were only two choices.

“DIE.”

VRISKA (stoic): 8ut that's not true. I'm not a wiggler anymore. Alternia is dead.

VRISKA (smiling): For once in my life, I have options.

And just what did the ungrateful little upstart mean 8y that?

VRISKA (proud): I'm glad you asked!

VRISKA (proud): It means I finally get to walk away from all this. And I'm not going to look 8ack.

The spider forgot her hunger, for a moment at least, as the reality of such a statement sunk in.

She was only a spider. She did not fear death, or feel regret, or hold any sadness.

She never once loved the girl. She did not feel responsi8le.

That said, the arachnid had grown accustomed to the smaller creature's presence.

She extended one long, spindly leg 8efore her, towards the young troll.

As if to say, "HUG?"

VRISKA (stoic): Oh, a8solutely not.

VRISKA (stoic): Hell no.

That proved a good call, as the spider had 100% planned on eating the girl.

Instead, the long lim8 was retracted, placed 8etween the monster's own massive jaws.

[Pause. SFX: A reverberating crunch.]

The spider would not notice when the girl turned to leave.

And the girl would not turn around to see if she had.

The 8ound cover was closed on our trusted narr8tor, as she whispered these final words.

“Good luck, Vriska.
8e assured, you will need it.”

[SFX: Reverberating footsteps, slowly walking away.]

> {Level Complete!}

[Fade to white.]

Chapter 4

VRISKA: Whew.

VRISKA: Long day.

GCATAVROSPRITE: mAYBE, yOU SHOULD TAKE A BREAK, fROM ALL THE TOTALLY AWESOME PERSONAL BREAKTHROUGHS YOU ARE HAVING,

GCATAVROSPRITE: aND KICK IT WITH ME AND ERISOL FOR A WHILE,

ERISOLSPRITE: yeah, you kiinda look liike 2hiit.

VRISKA (smiling): Says Scarfshades McLopsided.

ERISOLSPRITE: 2ay2 the bu2ted a22 biitch wweariin the 2ame raggedy jacket 2he2 wworn 2iince wwe wwere liike fiivve.

VRISKA (smiling): Says the guy who literally can't change his clothes.

ERISOLSPRITE: ii cant be held accountable for my dii2cordant cla22-2wwag diichotomy, but here you are a 2wweep and a half deep iin a per2onally taiilored realm of 2elf-reflectiion and you 2tiill choo2e twwo look liike thii2.

VRISKA (smiling): Heh.

ERISOLSPRITE (smirk): heh.

ERISOLSPRITE: anyway, come chiill.

GCATAVROSPRITE: oR, iNSTEAD OF CHILLING,

GCATAVROSPRITE: wE COULD THROW AROUND A BALL OF YARN, oR SOMETHING ELSE VISUALLY STIMULATING, tHAT MIMICS MY PREFERRED QUARRY OF SMALL ANIMALS I COULD KILL FOR FUN AND NOT EAT,

GCATAVROSPRITE: aND I COULD CHASE IT WITH MY LEGS,

GCATAVROSPRITE: tHAT AREN'T LEGS, aND ARE ACTUALLY A GHOST TAIL,

GCATAVROSPRITE: wHICH REALLY HAS NO BEARING ON MY ABILITY TO MOVE AT ALL,

GCATAVROSPRITE: aNYWAY,

GCATAVROSPRITE: tHE IMPORTANT THING, iS THAT YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET SOME R AND R,

GCATAVROSPRITE: aND ALSO HAVE A VERY VIGOROUS PLAYTIME SESH, wITH THE BOYS,

GCATAVROSPRITE: aND MAYBE GET WICKED PRANKED ON,

GCATAVROSPRITE: sO YOU DON'T BURN OUT,

GCATAVROSPRITE: }:3

GCATAVROSPRITE (sneeze): aCHOO!

ERISOLSPRITE: dude, 2neeze iintwwo your fuckin 2houlder or 2omethiing.

ERISOLSPRITE: arent you done beiin allergiic twwo your2elf?

GCATAVROSPRITE: i MEAN,

GCATAVROSPRITE: *sNIFF*

GCATAVROSPRITE: i FEEL LIKE i'M DOING PRETTY GOOD, oN THE NOT BEING ALLERGIC TO MYSELF FRONT,

GCATAVROSPRITE: cOMPARED TO BEFORE,

GCATAVROSPRITE: cONSIDERING THAT i HAVE A BUILT-IN MAGICAL AUTOIMMUNE DISORDER WHICH i HAVE NEVERTHELESS MOSTLY TRIUMPHED OVER, dUE TO MY VAST WILLPOWER, aND ALSO BECAUSE EVERYONE YELLED AT ME,

GCATAVROSPRITE (sneeze): aCHOO!

VRISKA: As tempting as it sounds to stick around and shoot the shit for a while, I think...

VRISKA: I think I need to keep going.

VRISKA (smiling): I'm kind of on a roll here. Gotta strike while the iron is hot!

GCATAVROSPRITE (subdued): iS THE IRON, iN THE FIRE,

VRISKA (angry smiling): You fucking know it is!

GCATAVROSPRITE (subdued): tHAT'S COOL,

GCATAVROSPRITE (subdued): iT'S JUST THAT eRISOL AND i HAVE BEEN SORT OF TALKING IT OVER,

GCATAVROSPRITE (subdued): aND IT KIND OF FEELS LIKE THE FIRE IS ABOUT TO GET REALLY REALLY HOT,

GCATAVROSPRITE (subdued): aND MAYBE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME IN THE FIRE IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR IRON KIND OF MELTED AND FLACCID AND SHITTY, iNSTEAD OF USEFUL, iN THE BLACKSMITHING SENSE THAT'S RELEVANT TO THIS METAPHOR,

GCATAVROSPRITE (subdued): *sNIFF*

ERISOLSPRITE: yeah.

VRISKA: Whaaaaaaaat?

VRISKA: No way.

VRISKA (smiling): These irons are always, always fired.

GCATAVROSPRITE (subdued): wELL, yEAH,

GCATAVROSPRITE (subdued): aND HISTORICALLY SPEAKING-

VRISKA: Oh 8lah 8lah 8lah, don't 8e such a pussy.

GCATAVROSPRITE (subdued): i LITERALLY CAN'T NOT BE A CAT,

VRISKA: You know what I mean.

VRISKA (smiling): I've just gotta get in there and make this shit happen.

VRISKA (proud): I pretty much AM the fire!

VRISKA: How 8ad could it even 8e?

GCATAVROSPRITE: ,,,

ERISOLSPRITE: ...

VRISKA: ........

VRISKA: Look, I'm just gonna go ahead and do this thing.

ERISOLSPRITE: ok wwell fuck u2 for tryiin ii gue22, havve fun gettiing traumatiized.

VRISKA (angry): I'm not gonna get traumatized!

{ENTER SCRATCH'S PARLOR}

[Fade to white, then...]

[Doc Scratch's text appears letter by letter, accompanied with a typewriter noise.]

Well, well.

Isn't this a perfectly predictable inevitability?

It certainly has been a while, Vriska. You seem to have blossomed nicely.

Care for a piece of candy?

VRISKA (angry): Oh fuck your stupid candy, you glo8e-headed little freak.

I know for a fact you'd enjoy it, but suit yourself.

VRISKA (stoic): Ugh. I had a feeling ages ago that I'd 8e seeing your smug ass again.

The feeling was mutual.

Although it was less the wary hunch of a scared little girl than the delightful certainty that you'd come crawling back to me, sooner or later.

Care to tell me how you've been?

VRISKA (jaw drop): What, like you don't know?

Of course I know. I'm always watching you.

I just figured I'd lend a little weight to the charade of our reintroduction, and allow you a chance to greet me on your own terms.

It's only polite.

VRISKA (angry smiling): You know what?

VRISKA (angry smiling): I've 8een pretty damn good.

VRISKA (angry smiling): 8een losing track of the sweeps I've spent in here fixing pretty much everything other than the thing I actually came in here to fix, 8ut it's paying off!

There's a convenient timer for the express purpose of tracking that.

VRISKA: Yeah, and I never look at it 8ecause it pisses me off!

VRISKA (angry smiling): 8ut it's fine.

VRISKA (angry smiling): It just means I've had a lot of time to think stuff over.

VRISKA (angry smiling): Stuff that was holding me 8ack, throwing me off-course.

VRISKA (angry smiling): Things way more consequential than the 8a8y gru8shit pan-games you used to play with me.

VRISKA (angry smiling): Honestly, I should 8e surprised to even see you here!

VRISKA (angry smiling): Really, all you were doing is sticking your stupid flat face into my REAL 8aggage.

I like to think that I'm far and away the most prolific contributor to your baggage.

VRISKA: You wish!

VRISKA (angry smiling): Man, I figured may8e this place was working up to something really intense, 8ut instead all I get is Glo8ehead the Gru8toucher playing puppetmaster again.

[Vriska begins to tremble.]

VRISKA (angry smiling): What a joke!

VRISKA (angry smiling): You fucked with a 8unch of little kids and 8lew up, then you LOST.

VRISKA (angry smiling): You could 8arely handle me when I was six, I'm supposed to 8e scared of you NOW?

Well, you're shaking.

VRISKA (angry): THE F8CK I AM!!!!!!!!

VRISKA (angry smiling): Shaking with excitement to get you in my rear-view, may8e!

VRISKA (angry smiling): What is it YOU'RE supposed to teach me?

VRISKA (angry smiling): How to 8e a creepy little pedophile?

VRISKA (angry smiling): How to dress and talk like a fucking tool?

VRISKA (stoic): C'mon!

VRISKA (stoic): Teach me a lesson!

VRISKA (angry): F8cking 8RING IT, you 8ald-ass 8ITCH!!!!!!!!

Exquisite.

I missed that fumbling braggadocio. It's heartening to know that this place hasn't cured you of it yet.

It makes you so much fun to play with.

{o} ==>

[Fade to black, then...]

VRISKA: Hey, what the fuck?!

[Doc Scratch's text appears in front of his face.]

There we are.

Now then, why don't we have ourselves a little game?

WHAT WILL YOU DO

[SFX: Glitch.]

Oh no. We won't be needing that.

Let's get you into your uniform.

VRISKA: ........

Ah, and there she is. My favorite piece.

VRISKA: I'm not your piece!

We'll start with a variation of the King's Pawn opening.

Thief to E4; Thief takes Page.

[Vriska jerks to the left. SFX: A bloody impact noise. The screen flashes umber brown.]

VRISKA: Fuck you!

Thief to F5; Thief takes Maid.

[Vriska jerks to the right. SFX: A bloody impact noise. The screen flashes burgandy.]

VRISKA: Stop it!

Thief to Z8; Thief takes Seer.

[Vriska jerks to the left. SFX: A bloody impact noise. The screen flashes teal.]

VRISKA: Fucking ST8P 8T!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Z8 ISN'T EVEN A F8CKING P8SITION, YOU HACK!!!!!!!

All the world's my board.

Thief to ∫40; Thief takes pawn.

[Vriska jerks to the right. SFX: A bloody impact noise, slightly slower. The screen flashes purple.]

VRISKA: ST8P IT!

Thief to µ22; Thief takes pawn.

[Vriska jerks to the left. SFX: A bloody impact noise, slightly slower. The screen flashes purple.]

VRISKA: F8CK YOU!

Thief to α612; Thief takes pawn.

[Vriska jerks to the right. SFX: A bloody impact noise, much slower. The screen flashes green.]

VRISKA: I'LL F8CKING K8LL YOU!

Thief to Ω413; Thief takes pawn. Check.

[Vriska jerks to the left. SFX: A bloody impact noise, much slower. The screen flashes red.]

VRISKA: YOU'LL 8E SORRY FOR THIS!

VRISKA: YOU'LL 8E F8CKING SORRY!

VRISKA: YOU'RE A CHEAP FUCKING KARMA GHOST,

VRISKA: THIS IS A STUPID FUCKING CHARADE,

VRISKA: NONE OF THIS MEANS SHIT,

VRISKA: AND I'M NEVER GOING TO 8E CAUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING G8MES EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!

[Vriska begins trembling.]

Of course you will.

You think you're better than me? Better than fate?

Vriska, I am going to put you in situations where you have the potential to do terrible things.

I am going to make things ugly.

I am going to corner you.

I am going to pressure you.

And no matter how much “better” you claim to be, all I have to do is catch you at the wrong moment.

You're one bad turn from burning all your quaint little progress to the ground.

One lapse away from being mine again.

VRISKA: Get me out of here.

VRISKA (sullen crying): I want a do-over.

Oh, please.

You of all people should know that you don't *get* do-overs.

The rest of these frivolous little vision quests may feel like sparing you the effort of getting things right the first time around, but the real world doesn't work that way.

No, you'll just have to endure it. This won't take long.

You had a good run out there, flying solo and swashbuckling around as if Light itself were yours to command.

It'd be wise to remember that it's a borrowed blessing.

You flourish at its whim.

Continue to spit in its face and take it for granted, and it will abandon you once again, perhaps for good.

VRISKA: ........

Do you remember who you were, before it chose you?

The choices you made when luck wasn't on your side?

You were such a delectable little victim.

Poor Vriska, with her voracious lusus.

With her demanding legacy and her uncooperative, fickle little friends.

So much was out of your hands, then; how could you help but be my lovely assistant?

VRISKA: You didn't fucking own me.

[The background flickers and glitches.]

But what matters is that I might as well have.

You let yourself believe you had no option other than to take me up on my hard bargains, again and again.

For all your talk of independence, all your combative posturing and insistence on your own freedom, you barely bothered to put up any actual resistance to my suggestions.

You took the easy way out, swearing all the while it was your move.

What a phenomenal waste of your considerable talents.

VRISKA: I don't need your compliments.

It wasn't a compliment.

It was an insult, and a warning.

You're a trump card, Vriska, but your potency is a double-edged sword.

One you've gotten far too comfortable swinging around, in the past.

What do you intend to fix, when you leave this place?

What, I wonder, will you break?

I'd encourage you to be mindful of both.

Of course, you could always cast aside those pesky trivialities and go with the flow, smashing through circumstance with nary a thought for the consequences.

It'd be easier.

We could dance together again, just like old times.

You choose.

What'll it be, Vriska? Player, or piece?

Thief to ∞108.

[Vriska slowly returns to the center of the frame. The screen fades to white.]

I look forward to finding out.

Good luck.

ERISOLSPRITE: oh you totally got traumatiized.

{Level Complete!}

Chapter X

[Fade to white.]

Meanwhile...!

[Fade to...]

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (uncomfortable): B33 < *dp hesitantly crawls up to their phone, curiously pawing at the device and feigning ignorance as though they don't know what the fuck it is because theyre kind of embarrassed to talk to the sprite^2 they know is at the other end*

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < *dp musters the strength to slowly inch a claw to the scr33n... will they answer in time... theyre lowkey starting to catch a vibe with that ringtone though... they might fuck around and toy with this vibe... having a grand old time with this vibe... whole time the vibe fears for its life, the vibe is trying to play dead but that would never stop ol' dp* uh oh...

ERISOLSPRITE: dude.

ERISOLSPRITE: ju2t an2wwer the fuckiin phone you obnoxiiou2 a22hole.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (laugh): B33 < hahaha yeah i will, sorry man

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < whats shaking

[Slide in from left.]

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (annoyed): Hello? Haven't you heard it's rude to keep a lady waiting?

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (annoyed): I bet you were doing that thing where you start roleplaying outloud to yourself about picking up the phone instead of just picking the damn thing up.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < um

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (cute): B33 < nipah

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (thinking): I was beginning to think I wouldn't be able to get any service, what with all the interference between The Plot Point's hyperconcentrated essentiality field and Midnight City's superplausitional canonical deniability.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < i hate that i understand what youre saying when you speak like this

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (laugh): Isn't it delightful?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < well to reduce our word count and knead our poor brain biscuits ill since youve b33n gone, we just call it The Point now

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (pleased): How delightfully quirky! Let's get to ours, shall we?

JASPROSESPRITE^2: Personally, I've been having an incredible time!

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (thinking): Other than the Crocker patriarch and his new tall, dark, and loathsome beau hounding us.

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (annoyed): They've been on our tails this whole night!

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (annoyed): In my opinion, this operation could do without a pair of hard-boiled hall monitors filling the night air with pheromones, gun powder, and the scent of Barbasol.

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (annoyed): Eugh!

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (laugh): But hey! Downing cold drinks and dodging hot lead, Midnight City certainly doesn't disappoint!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (uncomfortable): B33 < jasprose... youve b33n drinking?

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (annoyed): Please.

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (pleased): You know it's only milk bars for me.

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (curious): Well, perhaps the occasional martini bar. Though with them, it's more difficult to find bartenders that won't bat an eye when I order a glass of that delectable matronal ambrosia.

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (pleased): Speaking of, I've made fantastic progress with the enchanting, yet problematic Ms. Crocker.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < “enchanting yet prowlblematic”

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (laugh): B33 < thats gotta be your favorite combination

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (laugh): Guilty as charged!

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (pleased): Sigh, it's almost a shame I'll have to pass her off soon!

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (thinking): Her politics are still a little eye-brow raising, but they won't raise any torches and pitchforks yet.

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (curious): We've also had some developments from my new favorite foppish lunk, the inimitable Mr. English. Though he does seem to be locked in the particularly stubborn throes of his broken-hearted malaise.

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (pleased): I'm confident I can tear past the pitiable plush exterior and reveal the fragrant potpourri of heroism that lies within before curtain call!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 : B33 < sounds like youve had a real eventful... uh

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < how many w33ks of developments has this b33n i wasnt fully purring attention

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (thinking): Weeks?

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (laugh): Oh Davepeta, we've only been out on the town for a single, sensual, enlightening night!

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (curious): Anywho, while still on the subject of the stubborn and problematic... How goes your work on the linchpin of this “oper8tion”?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < well i mean

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < its going

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (shocked): Damn!

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (thinking): That bad?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (uncomfortable): B33 < JR were fucked

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < well actually, were probably fine i guess since its like hyper-time so its okay in the grand scheme of shit

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (uncomfortable): B33 < but god daaaaaaaamn its 8 steps forward 7 leaps back every session

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (uncomfortable): B33 < this therapist shit is not easy

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < hmm yes the way you smashed that 3rd 8-ball indicates you have unresolved f33lings about your father

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < oh you dont have a father? our species doesnt even know what the fuck that is?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < well fuck me then i dont know

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < youd probably be way better at this than me

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (pleased): I would, yes.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (uncomfortable): B33 < im in hell and you dont even care

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (laugh): B33 < it turns out hell is trying to get vriska serket to change her mind

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (curious): Yeesh, and you've been at this for how long?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < well on the outside its only b33n maybe an hour or so.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < which would translate to Centralized Point Time (CPT) as maybe about

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < 4 years

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (shocked): 4 years?!

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (shocked): What have you even been doing there for 4 years?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *dp slides up against the doorframe all slick-like, folds their arms and cocks their head forward, dropping the shades just enough for you to steal a glance at their highly coveted neon ganderbulbs*

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (cute): B33 < chilling

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (curious): Chilling.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yeah

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (annoyed): That's all you've been doing? Chilling?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < p much

JASPROSESPRITE^2 (laugh): Fucking incredible.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (laugh): B33 < god can you imagine

[Fade to white.]

Chapter 6

[Black background.]

LATER

[Fade to...]

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < well here we are

VRISKA (proud): Here we fucking are!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < its b33n a long ass time but were cr33ping up behind the grand finale

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < that finale is never gonna s33 it coming

VRISKA (smiling): The final 8oss.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (laugh): B33 < master hand, your days are fucking numbered

VRISKA (smiling): More like minutes!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < finally ready to take that final step

VRISKA (smiling): I needed a 8reather!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < you sure did!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *a tear begins to well up in dps eye behind their shades*

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *they f33l like a mom s33ing their freshly pupated charge about to finish their final trials and march off to the subgrubs or maybe a dope ass cave*

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < *dp wonders will they be safe out there? will she make use of all the lessons theyve learned here?*

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < *will she remember to wipe the lid?*

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383

VRISKA (proud): *The Thief proudly puffs out her chest with her hands on her hips and her 8ack to the sun, looking heroic and 8adass.*

VRISKA (proud): Ha! You've got nothing to fear.

VRISKA (proud): I'm older and wiser now.

VRISKA (smiling): I want to thank you, too.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (thinking): B33 < what for

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (laugh): B33 < i barely did shit

VRISKA (smiling): Haha yeah, 8ut I'm glad you were here anyway.

VRISKA (smiling): You and everyone else!

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383

VRISKA (smiling): ........

VRISKA (stoic): Okay, I have to say something.

VRISKA: So, DP, you're half Nepeta, right?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yeah

VRISKA: Well, more of a whole Nepeta, along with a whole other dude.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < ... yeah?

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < 383

VRISKA: 8ut Fefeta's also a whole Nepeta!

FEFETASPRITE: 3833 < ...

VRISKA: So like... how does that work?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < vriska wait dont say it!!!!

VRISKA: Why are there two Nepetas?

[SFX: A video game damage noise, and a high pitched squeal.]

FEFETASPRITE: 3X(( < 3X((

VRISKA (confused): ... What the fuck was that?

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < you just fucking sent dear sw33t precious fefeta to sprite city.

VRISKA (confused): ????????

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (laugh): B33 < hahahaha anyway

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (laugh): B33 < i was just fucking around earlier but honestly, im actually gonna miss you

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (cute): B33 < i think im f33ling a goodbye glomp coming on

VRISKA (glaring): Hey hey, we talked a8out this.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (pokerface): B33 < oh yeah sorry

DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (uncomfortable): B33 < *dp deflates like a cartoon meowbeast thats b33n blown up by some freaky pervert, tied to a balloon, handed off to a snot nosed kid at a theme park who just fucking lets it go because he got distracted by goofy and mickey duking it out (that summer heat makes people crazy)*

VRISKA: Alright fine, one hug 8efore I crush this and I'm outta here.

[SFX: Level up!]

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < yay

[Fade to...]

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < here you go, your last hell

VRISKA: I've 8een waiting for this one.

VRISKA: I have a pretty good feeling I know who's waiting on the other side.

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < *sniffs* you're a real pro at this silent hill mind prison shit now, youve come so far

VRISKA: It's 8een real Davepeta, see you around!

DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < good luck vriska!

[Fade to black.]

VRISKA: ...

VRISKA: ...?

VRISKA: Hey!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Terezi!!!!!!!!

VRISKA: Is that you?

VRISKA: I knew it would 8e you!

VRISKA: You were the one thing missing from this!

VRISKA: Even if you're just a phantom designed explicitly to torture me, I'm so happy to see-

VRISKA: you...?

VRISKA: What?

VRISKA: Who are...

[The music stops.]

VRISKA: ...

(VRISKA): ...

VRISKA: ...

(VRISKA): ...

VRISKA: ........

VRISKA: Alright, fine.

VRISKA: Makes sense I'd have to do this eventually.

VRISKA: I'm sorry.

VRISKA: For all that shit I said to- did to you.

VRISKA: It was wrong of me to hate you for getting soft.

VRISKA: For knowing when to quit.

VRISKA: For choosing to be happy.

VRISKA: I get that now.

(VRISKA): ...

VRISKA: HUH???????? What the hell...

(VRISKA): ...

VRISKA: Come on now...

(VRISKA): ...

VRISKA: You're asking for too much.

VRISKA: You're really going to make me do this?

VRISKA: ...

VRISKA: ...

VRISKA: I...

VRISKA: I won't.

(VRISKA): ...

VRISKA: I can't.

[Fade to white, then...]

[Fade to white.]

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